Just one day

For just day I would like to not hear any pregnancy announcements, updates and shower news. I would like to not be inserted with anything- needles, speculum, catheter, ultrasound wand, suppositories and yes, my husband (sorry honey) I would like to not see any strollers, car seats, momies to be walking groups, baby food commercials- heck anything baby related commercial- (The only baby commercial that doesn’t make me want to cry, scream, tear my hair out is the E-trade baby) ultrasounds pictures, shower invitations, pink or blue bows on mailboxes of people I don’t even know. (and yes there are irrational moments where I wish I had a baseball bat for those mailboxes)

Is this a bit much? Perhaps. Do I need therapy? In it. But its how I feel right now. Back to back celeb baby news this morning has set me off (Seriously Maya Rudolph? Baby #4???) I know its not an intentional NA NA look what I can do, while you sit there all barren like. But damn if it doesn’t feel that way. But I guess someone has to make up for what we infertiles can’t contribute.

Have babies and pregnant women always been everywhere? I don’t remember seeing them every 5 seconds before. There are days, today being one them, where I wish I lived in a barren town- no kids, just adults, having adult conversations that don’t involve anything child related. Nothing to remind me of what my body can’t do.

I mean seriously, who wants to live their whole life for their kids? Bragging about their first steps, first words, first pair of REAL shoes, first day of school, the lead role they got in the school play or that last minute goal that won the game? Who wants to sit up at night worried when they are out in the car, alone, for the first time? Or at the first co-ed party? Or on a date? Who wants to worry about how the hell to pay for college? Or worry once they are at college? Or once they are out of college? And how to pay for a wedding? Didn’t you just finish paying off your own?! Who wants that first moment when they hand you their first child- your grandchild? A whole new mess of things to worry about. Thats a whole lot of stuff to be caught up in..who wants that??

I do.

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