Death of a dream

How does one survive the death of a dream?  The death of something that never was…never will be. The hopes, the plans…gone.  I have lived thru the end of relation and friendships, the loss of beloved pets and the death of both my parents. I never thought anything would be harder to deal with than losing my parents but this….is almost impossible. 

When someone dies, it is sad- sometimes horribly so.  You will always miss that person. There will always be a empty space that no one can replace.  But you will move on- you have your memories, pictures and others who also knew them to reminisce with.  All this helps to get thru the grief and keep them alive in your heart.

The death of a dream is way more devastating- there are no memories, no pictures. Just hopes and plans that are no more.  What do you do with that list of names you’ve created and edited a million times over the years?  Roll it up and smoke it? Might as well..no fetus here to harm.  And there never will be. I only have myself to blame.  I waited too long…wasted too much time…not on myself but on those who couldn’t or wouldn’t commit…I waited and wasted my dream away. How do you move on, move thru, move past that necrotic stupidity?

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
-Langston Hughes